Still Learning

As I sat and listened to The Gospel According to Scrooge last weekend at Family Church, I reflected on my life and tried to picture my life at his age.  Thirty years from now, what will my life look like if I do or don't change certain things.  If I go left instead of right.  Scrooge told one of the Angels that there was no point in changing.  It was too late.  Why now?  It would do no good.  But the Angel replied, it's never too late. (I could be paraphrasing this scene)  What Scrooge could have changed at a very young age, took the very life out of him  It made him bitter.  It made him angry.  Scrooge experienced hardships early in life and he never wanted to go through that again.  Ever.  So he took his focus off what mattered in life and placed it in something temporary.  He had all the wealth that he worked so hard for throughout his life but he was miserable.  He had lost the meaning of life.  He had lost his love.  He had lost his joy.  Scrooge was now an old man looking back at his past life, as well as his present and future.  He discovered the moment that changed him forever.  Looking back, he would have perhaps done things a little different.  What I saw, was an old man that missed so much of his life.

What I realized...I don't have to wait until I'm old with silver streaks in my hair and wrinkles covering my face to learn what life is all about.  I am learning now at the age of 32 that life isn't always going to be fair.  But I've learned to live.  I've learned what's important.  What matters for eternity.  The decisions we are faced with today...the hardships that we are faced with today...the grief we are faced with today...the loss we are faced with today...can be monumental moments in our lives. 
And what we do when faced with any of the above, matters for eternity.  I'm still learning as I journey through life but I'm thankful that at the age of 32, I realize what life is all about and not thirty years from now.  Though it's never too late, it's also never too early to learn.  To live. 

The song below describes part of my life and the journey I've been on the past several years and the past few months.  I'm still learning...But I'm now living.  I'm not paralyzed with fear or worry.  I don't want to look back on my life and see the moment that changed me for the worse.  I want to look back and see the moment that changed me forever.  The moment that changed me for the good and that it mattered for eternity. 

"Learning How To Bend"

I'm still learning how to pray
Trying hard not to stray
Try to see things your way
I'm still learning how to pray
I'm still learning how to trust
It's so hard to open up
And I'd do anything for us
I'm still learning how to trust

I'm still learning how to bend
How to let you in
In a world full of tears
We'll conquer all our fears
I'm still learning how to fly
I wanna take you higher
I'll be there till the end
I'll be your lover and your friend
I'm still learning how to bend

I'm just trying to understand
It's all in someone else's hands
There's always been a bigger plan
But I don't need to understand

I'll be there till the end
I'll be your lover and your friend
I'm still learning how to bend
I'm still learning how to bend
I'll be there till the end
I'm still learning how to bend