Remember Not?

I have to say that my memory isn't the best but there are certain events that stand out in my life as I look back over the past 32 years.

I remember when my name was called as 4th runner-up, 3rd runner-up, 2nd runner-up, 1st runner-up and then Miss Cinderella.  I had competed for the title of Miss Cinderella so many years and it was finally my turn to be crowned. 

I remember when I had the opportunity to cheer on the 50 yard line of the Super Dome as the West Monroe Rebels vied for the title of 5-A State Champs.  It's a feeling I can't even begin to describe.  The atmosphere was filled with such excitement and I was there, smack dab in the middle of it all.  In awe.

I remember when the butterflies in my stomach caused my body to shake uncontrollably which led me to false start at the regional track meet.  We drove hours for me to get set in my blocks for a few seconds, only to be disqualified.  I was devastated but my dad was right there with me.

I remember when I walked down front to the alter at a youth camp to give my life to God on July 31, 1997.  I walked away changed.

I remember when I walked through the entrance of the ULM Fant-Ewing Coliseum soaking in the moment as I was being seated to receive my college diploma.

I remember when the curtains opened at the Miss Louisiana pageant and I walked down the run way for the first time in over ten years.  I thought to myself that evening, "I'm actually doing this.  I'm competing for the title of Miss LA".

I remember when I saw my little boy for the first time on March 25, 2008 and thought to myself, "He's actually MY little boy".  I can picture it just like it was yesterday and even five years later...I stare at him and think to myself once again, "He's actually MY little boy."

I remember when my little boy walked on the beach for the first time, fell down and then ate the sand off his hands. 

I remember when God answered my prayer the day before Father's Day of 2013.  I was allowed one more visit with my dad.  It is forever etched in my head.

But there are moments in life that I would like to remember not...

I remember when I heard the words...Your mom has cancer.

I remember when I heard the words, "Laurie, I have cancer" from my dad.

I remember when I got a call from Kendall's sitter telling me that Kendall had hit his head and that he was not coming back to consciousness.  I remember the feeling of helplessness that overwhelmed me.

I remember when I received the worst phone call of my life, my heart pounded as if it was about to explode from my chest.  I remember the exact location at the Glenwood Medical Mall I stood in as the all too familiar music played in the background hearing the words from my dad, "Laurie, I have a tumor." 

I remember when I got a text message from my oldest brother telling me he was at Beck's house (my older brother) and I needed to meet him there.  I knew at that moment that we lost the rock that kept our family so strong for so long.  My biggest fan was no longer with me.  I remember walking in the doors of Beck's house and seeing my two brothers, with tears streaming down their face as they walked over to embrace me. 

All of the "I remember when" moments of my life though, whether good or bad, have made me who I am today.  I learned from them.  Don't block out the moments that you would like to remember not and remember they can either better you or beat you.