It's a fact. Most people like to talk about themselves. Toby Keith even wrote a song titled, "I Wanna Talk about Me." I think most people don't even realize how much they talk about themselves. Pay close attention to your conversations and you will see that most topics will eventually end with you as the center of the conversation or the person you are talking to at that time.
I am in sales and one of the best "ice breakers" is learning something about my customer that will lead the conversation to them. It may be a hobby, their children, or their career but if I can get them to talk about themselves, usually it seals the deal. They notice that I have taken interest in them. I have taken the focus off of me and placed it on them. I learn more about them each visit. It forms a deeper relationship. Trust is built. A bond is made. Why? Because I took the time to let them talk about what is important to them. Friendships have been made over the years simply because I was intentional with my conversations. I wanted every visit to be about them rather than my product or me.
We can get so consumed with our lives that we forget about others. We forget what they may be battling each day because we are worried about ourselves and our circumstances. I know that you have heard the saying, "We all have two ears and one mouth." Well, that's the truth. We have ears to hear but are we really listening to what's being said? Listen to others when they talk about their interests. Their hobbies. Their kids. Their likes and dislikes. Let them know that you actually care about them.
Next time during a conversation, if you catch yourself wanting to talk about you and your life (or others-because we all know that happens), sit back and redirect the conversation to the other person. Sometimes someone needs to know that others do care. That someone will take the time to simply ask about the little things in life. Our mind is so consumed with distractions that don't even matter. The thoughts may be necessary but not at the exact moment. Who will take the kids to ball practice? What time is their game? Uh oh, is it snack day? What will we have for supper? The laundry must be done tonight or little Johnny won't have clean drawers for school tomorrow. The house is a disaster. Our thoughts are overloaded with our to do list. It's hard to focus but it's possible and it's necessary.
I had breakfast and lunch with two very special people in my life and I found myself wanting to talk about my life and what's been going on since the last time we met. I would have to stop myself so that we could redirect the conversation to them. I blame it on being a single mom, if I can place blame here. I don't have an adult to talk to so when I get adult time, I just unleash it all! So I do apologize to any of you that have to experience my "dumping everything out at once" conversations.
Listen more than you speak. You may learn a thing or two next time you are willing to sit back and hear the words coming out of someone else's mouth. So don't let others think of you when they hear Toby Keith's "I Wanna Talk about Me" song. Be intentional next time you have a conversation with someone. Tell them that "I wanna talk about YOU!"
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