Who I'd Be Today

There is a famous poem by Robert Frost titled, "The Road Less Traveled."  It ends...

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Are you shocked that I even knew such a poem existed?  I wasn't completely lost in English class.  It just wasn't my best or favorite subject. 

I know at some point in my life, I was faced with two roads.  Actually, I'm sure there were many times in my life that I was faced with the decision as to which road to take.  I know there were days that I took the road less traveled.  The road that wasn't necessarily the easiest but the road that would strengthen me.  The road that would build my character.  The road that would teach me life lessons.  The road that would ultimately lead me to all of my dreams.  It was a beautiful road.  But there were days that I made my own little trails.  There were two roads but I took one that hadn't even been traveled.  One that was filled with potholes.  A road that had many obstacles to overcome.  A road that would wind up leaving me in a ditch once or twice.  A road that, at some point, would lead me to my life today.

Recently I visited NYC for the first time ever.  I wasn't too sure if this ole' country girl would like such a big, busy city.  But shockingly, I loved it.  I loved the tall buildings.  The fact that people walked everywhere.  The excitement.  All of the history.  The lights that lit up the city at night.  The honking horns and whistles that constantly blew.  The life that existed below the streets, better known as the subway.  It was non-stop.  Nothing but go, go, go.  It was a lot to take in during a short period of time.  But it was certainly a trip I will never forget. 

When I was younger, I saw myself as a business women.  I could picture myself with my briefcase walking along the sidewalks of Wall Street.  You see, I didn't dream of becoming a mommy like most little girls.  I'm not sure if I ever even played "Mommy" when I was a younger.  I could be wrong but my dreams didn't involve screaming, messy, little brats.  Not at all.  I didn't want kids.  I had my plans of my own.  I'm not sure when all of that changed but it did.  

During my visit to NYC, I saw a small glimpse of my life had I taken certain roads.  Had I chosen the business woman road, I do believe my life would have been consumed with my work.  What promotions could I get?  How far up the ladder could this little girl from West Monroe, LA climb?  The next face of Forbes magazine perhaps?  Remember, I am a dreamer.  The sky would have been the limit and I would have stopped at nothing to reach any and all of my goals.  Family would not have been a priority in my life.  It would have been a good life but it would have been a life that lacked so much.  A life that, materialistically, would have been amazing.  It's who I'd be today.

 

Then I remembered my precious little boy that was back home in West Monroe, LA.  A little boy that has stolen my heart and made my life worth living.  A little boy that gave me purpose.  You see, he was at the end of that trail that I decided to take when I approached those two roads I spoke of earlier.  The road that I made all by myself.  The one that would leave me in ditches and take me on a journey that I never dreamed of.  It certainly wasn't anything like I had planned when I was a little girl.

My little boy ask me all the time, "What would your life be like without me?"  Every time I hear those words, they bring tears to my eyes.  I have no idea what my life would be like without my little boy.  You see, he saved my life.  He was my lifeline that got me out of the ditch I had fallen in along that little trail I had decided to take. 

We can always question decisions in our lives.  What if I would have taken this road instead of that road?  Where would I be today?  What would my life look like today?  Who would I be today? 

I know "who I'd be today" if not for the grace of God.  So today, I accept who I am.  I don't look back and question or ask, "What if?"  I am okay with who I am today.  I learn from those roads less traveled and that has made all the difference.