If Only I Had A Little More Time

His last first day of elementary school

How many times have you heard it or said it?  

I wish I would have had more time.  What I would do for one more day.

Hear me out but don't throw rocks at me.  I'm over here trying not to have a pity party.  I just wanted to see things from a different perspective.  I am trying to see the silver lining in all of this chaos.

Hear me out.

My son is or should I say was in his last few months of elementary school.  We were quickly approaching his tour of middle school.  His last field trip.  His last field day.  MY last field day.  Yes, the parents get to compete as well.  I was going out on top!  Our last school lunches together.  His last birthday party at school.  His last awards day and his GRADUATION day. I wasn't ready for all of that and I certainly wasn't ready for all of this.  I wasn't prepared for the last and nothing could have prepared me to miss the last.  It absolutely breaks my heart.  Probably more so than his.  I don't have another child.  This is it.  This was the only time I had to celebrate a "last" in elementary school.  I was robbed.  He was robbed.  We were robbed.  Not just me and my son, but all of us. 

Just like that...it's over.  It happened over night and without notice.

To the mom of a senior, I can't fathom the emotions you are feeling right now.  You have been preparing yourself all year for your child's very last... prom, baseball or softball season, track and their HIGH SCHOOL graduation.  My mama heart hurts for you.  For your kids.  For those that played their last senior ball game not knowing it would be their last.  They weren't prepared.  You weren't prepared.  They were robbed.  You were robbed.

Hearts shattered.  Dreams shattered.

Those events are HUGE. Huge MILESTONES for anyone.  Parent or student.  Teacher or coach.  

I know there are more significant moments that I am missing but I'm not going to make this a book.  I feel as if I could but I'm going to switch gears right here.

Several weeks ago, I thought I was picking my son up from school for the last time.  I thought I would never eat lunch with him again.  My heart was shattered.  Yes, it was broken.  Why?  Because I took for granted the time I had. I wasted it.  But God.  God gave me a second chance and I thank God that he did that for me.

Quality time with the cat

What if that's what He is doing for many of us?  Giving us a second chance?  A chance to slow down.  A chance to take advantage of the greatest gift we have...time.  Something we can never get back once it's gone.

Learning how to be a man

I would much rather spend the last month or two of my little boy's innocent days together at home.  Soaking in every single moment and being intentional with our time together. Teaching him about ALL about life.  I may never have another lunch with my son at a cafeteria table but right now, I can have lunch with him every single day at our kitchen table.  

Learning how to mow

To the parent of a senior, you have been given a gift.  You might not can see it but it's right in front of you.  I say that with much compassion. I can't begin to understand what you are feeling.  Many of you have seniors that will be moving off.  You've been given a little more time with them.  Cherish it.  Embrace it.  You don't have to pretend it's all okay because it's not.  It isn't fun.  It isn't fair.

On graduation day, I typically see every single saying mentioned below:  

If I could turn back time...
It passed by so quickly...
I blinked...
They were just a baby...
If only I had a pause button...

God said here... slow down... take more time... invest in what matters... focus on what matters... don't lose sight of the eternal goal!  

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good.  He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people." 

 You turn mourning to dancing

You give beauty for ashes

You turn shame into glory

You turn graves into gardens

If I have learned one things over the past week, it's this:

You truly never know when you are living a last... so embrace the moment!

God gave me a second chance.  Maybe He gave you one too!