It's hard to believe that 12 years ago I heard the words from my dad that my mother had cancer. My first response to him was that God would heal her. I was never overcome with fear or doubt when I heard those words. Only three short years later, I heard the words again from my dad except this time, cancer had struck him. I can remember that day so vividly He had called me at work. His voice was chipper. He asked how my day was going. It started as a typical call from my dad but ended with words that changed my life forever. He said "I have cancer." Tears welled up and began to fall from my eyes but I dare didn't let him know that. I'm the tough one. I don't cry but I'm a Daddy's girl. I remained strong and told him the words "We've beat it once and we will beat it again." I immediately left work. I walked out the door of The Fletcher Group and broke down. I had very little time to get it together before I saw my dad at home. My brothers had already arrived. We didn't talk about the cancer. We just enjoyed being together. But you could feel the "cancer" as we laughed. You could see it in our eyes. You could see it in our smiles. It had crept in our family once again.
I helped my dad with his last book, From the Heart and I'm so blessed I was able to do so. I read many things that I did not know about my dad. I remember typing every article that was published. I cried, I laughed and I was encouraged. The below article was shared at my dad's last speaking engagement earlier this year. Little did we know, we would lose our dad two months later to the disease he last spoke about.
For Better or for Worse by Robert Charles Payne
Vows--words of commitment and promise. On March 21, 2001, I was strongly reminded of my marriage vows: "For richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health." When I saw my wife lying there on that hospital bed, the reality of my marriage vows became very factual. Only moments before, Dr. William Ferguson had told me that Donna, my wife, had breast cancer. I asked him if she knew it yet, and he said that she did not. I asked him if I could go with him when he told her.
I remember walking through the door and seeing her lying in that bed. Tears began to well up in my eyes. I knew that, at that moment, she did not know that she had cancer but that, within the next thirty seconds, our lives would radically change.
As Dr. Ferguson, one of the most compassionate doctors that you will ever meet, told Donna that she had cancer, I took hold of her hand. Only those who have experienced this moment know what I am talking about when I say I took hold of her hand. I noticed a big tear roll down her cheek. She told me that she did not know if she could go through this or not.
She had watched as my mother had gone through an agonizing last six months of life battling lung cancer. She knew from firsthand experience about chemo, radiation and the progressive onslaught of cancer. I reassured her that we were going to make it through this. Cancer is a "we" thing, not an "I" thing.
From the moment that I had stood in the door and seen Donna on that hospital bed, all I could think about was our marriage vows. And the words, "in sickness and in health" were my dominating thoughts. I recalled saying them at our wedding, but I was reminded of the actual commitment: "In sickness and in health, in sickness and in health, in sickness and in health." I wanted to protect her. Trade places with her. I wanted it to go away.
I thought about some of the rough times in our marriage. There had been words that were said that should not have been said. The anger that we felt when we had disagreements could have caused our marriage to fall apart. But at that moment, I knew why we had been able to survive those trying times.
Every negative event that had happened in our marriage disappeared instantly.
Now I was being guided by a love for Donna that completely engulfed all of my emotions. I knew that I needed to love Donna as strongly as I ever had -- not because I needed to, but because I wanted to. I wanted her to get well, and I knew that I was going to do whatever it took to get her well. Problems were no longer important. Worldly matters were no longer important. Getting her well was all that mattered.
I have watched as so many members of the Payne family died from cancer, including my own mom and dad. Now the challenge of this ugly illness was staring Donna and me squarely in the face. As I left the recovery room that day, those marriage vows that Donna and I had shared thirty-three years ago became living words, words that drove me to do whatever it took to get my bride completely free of cancer.
When cancer strikes a spouse, the "I do" becomes a "we do." Yes, Donna and I have discovered there is a big difference between spoken words and living words.
Since October is breast cancer awareness month, I felt the need to share this about my mother that my dad had written. She is now CANCER FREE! We lost the battle with my dad but today we still celebrate the battle won in 2001.
I helped my dad with his last book, From the Heart and I'm so blessed I was able to do so. I read many things that I did not know about my dad. I remember typing every article that was published. I cried, I laughed and I was encouraged. The below article was shared at my dad's last speaking engagement earlier this year. Little did we know, we would lose our dad two months later to the disease he last spoke about.
For Better or for Worse by Robert Charles Payne
Vows--words of commitment and promise. On March 21, 2001, I was strongly reminded of my marriage vows: "For richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health." When I saw my wife lying there on that hospital bed, the reality of my marriage vows became very factual. Only moments before, Dr. William Ferguson had told me that Donna, my wife, had breast cancer. I asked him if she knew it yet, and he said that she did not. I asked him if I could go with him when he told her.
I remember walking through the door and seeing her lying in that bed. Tears began to well up in my eyes. I knew that, at that moment, she did not know that she had cancer but that, within the next thirty seconds, our lives would radically change.
As Dr. Ferguson, one of the most compassionate doctors that you will ever meet, told Donna that she had cancer, I took hold of her hand. Only those who have experienced this moment know what I am talking about when I say I took hold of her hand. I noticed a big tear roll down her cheek. She told me that she did not know if she could go through this or not.
She had watched as my mother had gone through an agonizing last six months of life battling lung cancer. She knew from firsthand experience about chemo, radiation and the progressive onslaught of cancer. I reassured her that we were going to make it through this. Cancer is a "we" thing, not an "I" thing.
From the moment that I had stood in the door and seen Donna on that hospital bed, all I could think about was our marriage vows. And the words, "in sickness and in health" were my dominating thoughts. I recalled saying them at our wedding, but I was reminded of the actual commitment: "In sickness and in health, in sickness and in health, in sickness and in health." I wanted to protect her. Trade places with her. I wanted it to go away.
I thought about some of the rough times in our marriage. There had been words that were said that should not have been said. The anger that we felt when we had disagreements could have caused our marriage to fall apart. But at that moment, I knew why we had been able to survive those trying times.
Every negative event that had happened in our marriage disappeared instantly.
Now I was being guided by a love for Donna that completely engulfed all of my emotions. I knew that I needed to love Donna as strongly as I ever had -- not because I needed to, but because I wanted to. I wanted her to get well, and I knew that I was going to do whatever it took to get her well. Problems were no longer important. Worldly matters were no longer important. Getting her well was all that mattered.
I have watched as so many members of the Payne family died from cancer, including my own mom and dad. Now the challenge of this ugly illness was staring Donna and me squarely in the face. As I left the recovery room that day, those marriage vows that Donna and I had shared thirty-three years ago became living words, words that drove me to do whatever it took to get my bride completely free of cancer.
When cancer strikes a spouse, the "I do" becomes a "we do." Yes, Donna and I have discovered there is a big difference between spoken words and living words.
Since October is breast cancer awareness month, I felt the need to share this about my mother that my dad had written. She is now CANCER FREE! We lost the battle with my dad but today we still celebrate the battle won in 2001.
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