It's crazy how quickly life changes. It's crazy what or who you learn to live without. In less than 3 months, we will celebrate the one year anniversary of my dad leaving this earth to spend eternity in heaven. Prior to my dad's diagnosis of lung cancer, my heart would literally beat differently and I would break down thinking of living life without my dad. There was no chance I could go a day without him in my life. He was my go to person for anything. He was my biggest fan... He was my little boys biggest fan. He was WALKING back and forth to watch his grand daughters and grandson play t ball... With a large tumor wrapped around his spinal cord. I don't know about you but I can't fathom the pain he felt. It didn't stop him though... He continued to cheer them on. But all of that changed on June 22nd of 2013. My "go to" person was gone... But guess what? I'm still here... What I thought would be an impossible journey... Became one of the journeys that would change my life... For the good. God gave me a peace that I can not put into words... He gave me strength I didn't have within me... I learned to live without my dad... My little boy learned to live without his granddad. Life never stopped... It's not easy... But you learn.
But what some don't know is what happened almost a year, to the day, prior to losing my dad.
People see me... They see my little boy... They've seen us for the past nearly 24 months... For those that don't know me probably questioned others asking where the daddy was... I had my son 24/7. Pictures of us on vacations... School... Fathers day... Mothers day... Christmas... But no sign of his dad. What's her story? Here is a glimpse of the past two years...
The day before fathers day 2012... My little boys daddy's addiction caught up with him. Years of drug and alcohol addiction put him away with a harsh sentence of twenty years. That was a lot to take in...My little boy was 4. What do you tell a 4 year old when his daddy disappears?
I learned... Never did I say a negative word to him or others. If he wanted to talk about his daddy...we did. It's tough when your little innocent child looks at you and tells you how much they miss their daddy. But I learned... My dad lost his dad at a very young age. His mother raised 4 boys by herself... So I started a journey... Day by day... Raising this gift from God... By myself.
So within 2 years... I learned how to live without my dad and my son learned how to live without his dad and his granddaddy. Neither of us have our dad by our side to walk through life. But we have each other.
One thing that is constant.... Is our Heavenly Father. He never left us... He's blessed us every single day with family and friends. He's blessed us with a new church family that pours life into me... And my son. We've learned to give our hurts to God. Both of us... Not just me. We've learned to walk by faith... We've learned to praise him through the storm.
This is my story... This is my song... Praising my savior... All the day long.
I know my story does not end here... But I felt the need to share these chapters of my life.
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