One night last week I was sitting in an IHOP just outside of New Orleans mulling over a day that just didn’t go my way. As I sat there lost in thought a child’s laugh snapped me back to reality. I stopped staring into the glass of Dr. Pepper that I was twirling on the table and glanced around the room. A few tables over sat a young woman who seemed to be feeling the effects of a stressful day. Sitting next to her was a 3 or 4 year old girl with jet black hair and blue eyes laughing. Now I don’t mean a giggle or a chuckle. She was laughing. A deep belly laugh that came from the diaphragm, turned her face red and took her breath away. After watching for a moment I saw what she found so amusing. She had discovered how to blow bubbles in her milk. She would stop laughing, catch her breath, blow into her straw and laugh again. 
I watched her for another moment and then glanced around the room again. There was the middle aged man that had vacant eyes slumped into his booth arguing with someone on a cell phone, the older woman that found absolutely nothing correct with her order and her husband who quietly listened to her complain, two teenagers that apparently weren’t going to a party that they wanted to attend, a waitress that forced a smile when she approached a table but her body language gave her away. And then there was me. I had a day that could have been better, I was tired, quickly coming up on 10 days since I had slept in my own bed and really wanted to go home. We were a pitiful sight I’m sure. The only person in the room that appeared happy was that little girl.
I watched her for another moment and then glanced around the room again. There was the middle aged man that had vacant eyes slumped into his booth arguing with someone on a cell phone, the older woman that found absolutely nothing correct with her order and her husband who quietly listened to her complain, two teenagers that apparently weren’t going to a party that they wanted to attend, a waitress that forced a smile when she approached a table but her body language gave her away. And then there was me. I had a day that could have been better, I was tired, quickly coming up on 10 days since I had slept in my own bed and really wanted to go home. We were a pitiful sight I’m sure. The only person in the room that appeared happy was that little girl.
There is something terribly wrong with this picture. How was it that none of us seemed happy?
If it isn’t enough with the practically impossible schedule we create for ourselves it’s the way we react to things around us. We aren’t happy with our job, our relationship, our car, etc. The list could go on and on. Then there is the things that consume us with anger and frustration, the actions of other people, you have a flat tire, the traffic, the healthcare debate, the bad news on TV, that one gift you can’t find for Christmas or you used your debit card at Target.
Maybe we can’t avoid all of these things but we can change the way they affect us, the way we process them. That flat tire is better than a water pump leaking. Sitting in traffic is better than being involved in that accident that brought it to a crawl. You are healthy. Your debit card has guarantees against fraud. They may inconvenience us, but they aren’t fatal.
I got lost in my own thoughts again trying to remember the last time I laughed like that and why I didn’t more often. Actually it wasn’t that long ago, but the “more often” thing is all on me. A friend of mine said something once that came to mind as I looked around the room again. “Don’t let the world steal your joy.” He was onto something. We all do it. All of these things steal our joy.
During the holidays take a little time out from the shopping, cooking and enjoying the company of family to reflect a bit. Look back at this year and look forward to next year. Think about all the things that consume your time, emotions and energy. Look at the biggest hurdles you faced this past year. Try to simplify things a bit, find your joy and hang onto it. Don’t spend so much time and energy trying to find what you want that you forget to enjoy what you have.
I looked up from the table to see the young woman carrying the little girl toward the door. They were both smiling now. Laughter is contagious and so is joy.
Where do I stand on this?
I am like most people these days I guess. I try to cram an hour and fifteen minutes of activity into every hour of every day. But I forget the important things. I don’t need anything. I’m not hungry. I sleep protected from the weather in a comfortable bed. I have a wife and family that love me and support me. That day that didn’t go my way wasn’t all that bad it just wasn’t what I had planned. In fact on some days I would have considered it a good day. It’s all a matter of perspective.
What’s the first step in hanging onto your joy?
I ordered a glass of milk.
Take that as you will.
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