Maybe you are a great friend. Maybe you are someone's best friend. Maybe you are someone's lifelong friend. Maybe you are a horrible friend. Maybe you are a terrible friend. Maybe you could be a better friend. Maybe you have no friends. Maybe you are someone's only friend.
There are seasonal friends. There are those friends who only want to tag along because of certain benefits. For example, maybe you have something they want. There are those who are negative Nancy's. Then there are the positive Polly's. You have praying friends. You have gossiping friends. You know the one that knows everything about everyone in town or at least they think they do? The one that talks about every single person, including their friends? Don't think they don't talk about you or are loyal to you if they gossip about everyone else. You have those friends that will agree with you no matter what, even if you are wrong. They will get down on your level and wallow in your misery with you. They will keep the pot stirred as long as you let them. You have those friends that are there for you no matter what...well, until life happens. You go through some storms. Your "friends" bail. Your on the mountain top, your friends appear out of nowhere. We all have friends in each of those categories. So, which friend are you?
I remember when a friend of mine was contemplating leaving her husband. He hadn't done anything terribly wrong. He just grew complacent in their relationship and perhaps took their marriage for granted. So she wanted out. There was no Biblical reason for her to leave. None whatsoever. So, what did I do? I certainly didn't tell her to leave him. Why would I tell my true friend to leave her husband? Why would I sit there and let her bad mouth her husband and discuss all the things he does wrong? I could have fed her mind with negative scenarios all day long but I didn't. I asked her if she loved him. I told her to focus on the things that he does right. Have you ever been through a divorce or considered a divorce and your friend told you to just leave the man? I'm not talking about abusive relationships or relationships that aren't healthy. I'm talking about marriages that have there ups and downs, as all do. Make sure your friends will fight with you and for you to save your marriage.
What about friends when you are going through the valley? Do they take you out for a drink or two or twelve or twenty to drink away your problems? I know at one point in my life, I had these types of friends and you know what, the problem was always there the next morning. And more than likely worse. What about friends who dislike others because you may have an issue with them. These friends don't even know who you are mad at or have an issue with, they just want to jump on the drama train with you. Friends who create drama every single day? I'm sure you can think of a few. Friends who think the world is out to get you and them. Always a victim. Creating problems that aren't even there. Friends who suck the life out of you instead of lift you up. You know those that exhaust you after only minutes with them because when their mouth opened, it was all negative? What about those friends that bail on you when you have made plans because they got a better offer? I've had these friends. In my deepest and darkest days, I had friends that fit every description above but that is not what I needed. I'm pretty sure I have been one of the friends mentioned above. But I needed someone to fight for me and not against me.
I have since found those friends. Good, Godly friends. Those that are loyal to the core. Those that will pray for you and with you. Those that will text you or call you to check on you. What about those amazing friends that will send you Youtube videos to make you laugh when you are sad? Or videos of certain songs that hit home exactly when you need them to. Friends that will hold you accountable. Friends that will speak truth to you even when it hurts. Friends that will disagree with you because you are wrong and don't care if it hurts your feelings because they truly love you. What about friends who believe in you and your dreams? Friends who randomly bless you. For no reason, they show up at your house with ice-cream. Now that's a good friend. Friends that will hold you accountable. Do you have those types of friends? Are you a friend that fits any of the above? A friend is one that loves at all times. Through the valley. On the mountain top. When you have nothing to offer. And when you have everything to offer. They don't hit the road when times get bad. They encourage you with scripture and they encourage you with their words.
There are several scriptures that speak about friends:
Proverbs 18:24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.
Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
I think we could probably all be better friends. Some of us could choose our friends more wisely. You become who you hang around so make sure those around you reflect what you want to become.
So don't be a terrible friend. Be the best friend that you can be.
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