"I just want to live." These five words were recently uttered by my granddad who had hip surgery after a fall. It hadn't been that long after his surgery when I heard these words. A few days had passed and he was in extreme pain. I leaned over closer to him so he could hear me when I asked how he was doing. Typically, he answers with, "still kickin'" but this time, his words sounded a little more desperate. He just wanted to live. He was hurting. He was confused. He didn't know why he hurt so bad. He didn't know where he was or why he was there. I tried to explain to him that he had fallen and also had hip surgery. And I do believe at some point, he understood.
But those words, "I just want to live" brought me to tears. I text my friend the following:
"We are born fragile and most of us will leave this world in a fragile state as well. But what are we doing that actually matters with our life in between those years?"
When we are babies, we want to do so much. We are eager. We want to learn and do everything ourselves. The same applies when we grow older. If you notice, the older folks want to be independent. They don't want help. They want to drive themselves even if they are as blind as a bat. They want to live and by live, I mean truly experience life to its fullest. We enter the world the same way. We want to see it all and do it all.
My question to you is this - what do you do with the time you have each day? If you were lying on a hospital bed, would you look back and wonder what you did with your time? Would you regret time wasted? We take for granted so many days hanging onto unforgiveness. Bitterness. Anger. Jealousy. We complain and we create drama that adds nothing to our lives. We are all guilty at some point. Life is a gift. Time is a gift. Do you leave it wrapped up in a little box with a pretty little bow or do you unwrap it and use it?
You may have heard of these years referred to as the dash. If you look on a tombstone, you will see a birth date and a date of death. In between those dates you will see a dash - the years that the person lived. Some may have a longer dash than others. Some will have spent those years with intention and purpose while others wasted the dash years.
Our days here are numbered. If you knew the exact day you would take your last breath, you would LIVE. We would live much differently compared to how we live now. I believe this 100%. Watch those who are given a terminal diagnosis with X amount of days left to live. They will spend time with those they love. They will make right where there is wrong. They will ask for forgiveness and they will also give forgiveness. They may take a trip to a place they dreamt of visiting their entire lives but never took the time to visit. Think about it, there are organizations that are given specific names that I'm sure many speak when they know their days are numbered. There is the Wish I Could Foundation. "I wish I could do this or I wish I could do that...I wish I would have done this or I wish I would have done that." I imagine those words have been spoken numerous times after an unwanted diagnosis was given. There is also the Make a Wish Foundation. I'm sure many have said they wish they could do this or that. I wish I would have done this but now it's too late. Why do you think these two organizations have been given these names? I am sure it's because when someone receives a terminal diagnosis, "they wish" they could do a lot.
In the words of my Granddad, "I just want to live." I want to LIVE too and with purpose each and every day.
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