Raising Him to Leave Me
Oh, my heart. It can feel so many emotions at once. Happiness. Sadness. Anxious. Overwhelmed. Have you ever felt those at once?
I have an eight year old little boy and as each day passes, I realize it's getting closer and closer to him leaving the nest. The place where I can protect him and watch his every move. Our safe haven. But I'm learning that the time will come (sooner than later) that he won't need me as much. I won't say that he will never need me because as we all know, no matter your age, you need your mom. He certainly won't need me to tuck him in or kiss his booboos. It makes a mama's heart sad or at least this mama's heart. I am trying to prepare myself for what awaits me but I know there is absolutely no way I can actually prepare myself for the day he leaves home. But... I can prepare him.
His little eyes watch more than I will ever know. His ears hear every word and every whisper I think is beyond him hearing. He sees a single mom work but as I work, I teach him that his job will be to provide for his wife and kids one day. I teach him the unseen in our lives. I not only show him but sit down with him and teach him. I don't want him to think this is how it should be or this is "normal."
I love to mow and don't necessarily think it's the mans job but I teach Kendall that he will one day mow his yard. He will do the labor around his house. The heavy lifting. The big and small things that normally a man would or should do. He and his wife will share certain duties. All of them won't fall on him or his wife. I am giving up my "chores" around our house so that he can learn how to work. How to be a man at a young age.
I take him to church every time the doors are open. Why? Because I want him to know the importance of being in the house of the Lord. As we drive to church, I teach him that it will one day be his job to lead his wife and kids. He will be the head of his house. He will teach his kids about God and show them how a husband is to love his wife. What we "lack" in our lives today, I teach him and prepare him to be one day. I can't make choices for him but I can certainly prepare him for choices he will be faced with one day.
He opens doors for me. When we go out for supper, I let him know that one day he will be the provider for his family. He will take them to eat. He will be able to pay for the meal. As we take vacations year after year, I let him know that he will be the one driving his family miles after miles after miles. He will work hard. He will play hard. He will PRAY hard. I will let him be little but I will prepare him for the day he's "not so little."
We pray. I want him to know the power in prayer. I want him to know that he needs to cover his wife and his kids at all times. To pray without ceasing.
We cry. We talk. We share our feelings to the best of our ability because if you know me, that's a struggle of mine. We communicate. We hug. We love. We hold hands. We say I love you by actions and not just words.
He knows the power of three words, "I am sorry" or "I was wrong." Wow. Those words are often hard to say but so powerful! They break chains. They break walls. He has to know that he will fail and he will make mistakes. We all do. But we have to own up to them. Admit when wrong and make apologies whenever possible.
Mama bear won't always be there. But I can prepare him even if I can't prepare myself. I fail and I fail daily. I know that actions speak louder than words so my prayer is that my actions are worthy of him learning from. That my actions will show him where my heart is and who it truly belongs to.
Let's not waste the time we have with our children. Let's raise them to be mighty men and women of God! They don't have to be a statistic. They don't have to be a victim. They can and will be over-comers. So all of you mama bears... though we may not be able to prepare ourselves... let's not neglect preparing them!
Oh, my heart. It can feel so many emotions at once. Happiness. Sadness. Anxious. Overwhelmed. Have you ever felt those at once?
I have an eight year old little boy and as each day passes, I realize it's getting closer and closer to him leaving the nest. The place where I can protect him and watch his every move. Our safe haven. But I'm learning that the time will come (sooner than later) that he won't need me as much. I won't say that he will never need me because as we all know, no matter your age, you need your mom. He certainly won't need me to tuck him in or kiss his booboos. It makes a mama's heart sad or at least this mama's heart. I am trying to prepare myself for what awaits me but I know there is absolutely no way I can actually prepare myself for the day he leaves home. But... I can prepare him.
His little eyes watch more than I will ever know. His ears hear every word and every whisper I think is beyond him hearing. He sees a single mom work but as I work, I teach him that his job will be to provide for his wife and kids one day. I teach him the unseen in our lives. I not only show him but sit down with him and teach him. I don't want him to think this is how it should be or this is "normal."
I love to mow and don't necessarily think it's the mans job but I teach Kendall that he will one day mow his yard. He will do the labor around his house. The heavy lifting. The big and small things that normally a man would or should do. He and his wife will share certain duties. All of them won't fall on him or his wife. I am giving up my "chores" around our house so that he can learn how to work. How to be a man at a young age.
I take him to church every time the doors are open. Why? Because I want him to know the importance of being in the house of the Lord. As we drive to church, I teach him that it will one day be his job to lead his wife and kids. He will be the head of his house. He will teach his kids about God and show them how a husband is to love his wife. What we "lack" in our lives today, I teach him and prepare him to be one day. I can't make choices for him but I can certainly prepare him for choices he will be faced with one day.
He opens doors for me. When we go out for supper, I let him know that one day he will be the provider for his family. He will take them to eat. He will be able to pay for the meal. As we take vacations year after year, I let him know that he will be the one driving his family miles after miles after miles. He will work hard. He will play hard. He will PRAY hard. I will let him be little but I will prepare him for the day he's "not so little."
We pray. I want him to know the power in prayer. I want him to know that he needs to cover his wife and his kids at all times. To pray without ceasing.
We cry. We talk. We share our feelings to the best of our ability because if you know me, that's a struggle of mine. We communicate. We hug. We love. We hold hands. We say I love you by actions and not just words.
He knows the power of three words, "I am sorry" or "I was wrong." Wow. Those words are often hard to say but so powerful! They break chains. They break walls. He has to know that he will fail and he will make mistakes. We all do. But we have to own up to them. Admit when wrong and make apologies whenever possible.
Mama bear won't always be there. But I can prepare him even if I can't prepare myself. I fail and I fail daily. I know that actions speak louder than words so my prayer is that my actions are worthy of him learning from. That my actions will show him where my heart is and who it truly belongs to.
Let's not waste the time we have with our children. Let's raise them to be mighty men and women of God! They don't have to be a statistic. They don't have to be a victim. They can and will be over-comers. So all of you mama bears... though we may not be able to prepare ourselves... let's not neglect preparing them!
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