I remember when I was little, I wanted everyone to like me. I didn't pick and choose who I wanted to be friends with because I wanted to be friends with everyone. As I grew older, I learned that it wasn't possible for everyone to like me. I struggled with that and still do. I didn't understand how others could be so mean. Girls can be mean. (and boys, you can be mean also) After I learned that not everyone would like me, I also learned to be mean. I know, shocker. Clubs started to form. Groups began to gather that I wasn't a part of and clicks became part of my world. For those of you with young kids, you know all of this well. Kids mesh with those they have something in common with. You grow up in the same neighborhood, so you hang around your neighbors. You attend the same church, you naturally become friends with your fellow church members. Play ball together? You become buddies with your teammates. But as you grow older, life gets a little more competitive. I see it in young kids today and I saw it when I was growing up. People become jealous. Quick to judge before they get to know you.
Competing in pageants as a young girl, I was guilty of this. I would meet my competition. Beautiful. Talented. Smart. Jealous? Heck yeah. How was I suppose to compete with that? I learned quickly that someone would always be prettier, more talented and smarter than I was. And that was okay. I got past what I saw and got to know what mattered, their heart. I met some fabulous girls growing up that I still have a relationship with today.
Several years ago, I had started a new job in Monroe, LA at Vantage Health Plan. It had been quite awhile since I had a job. I had disconnected from society and was learning to reconnect with others. There was one girl that wasn't so welcoming. She wasn't warm at all and always shunned me. Later, I was placed in this co-workers room as her "roomie." I don't know about you, but I'm competitive. I will make you like me because it's who I am. (It doesn't always work. I know.) I like a challenge so I took up her offer that she didn't even know she gave me. She may not have known it at the time but I was going to break down whatever walls she had put up. After weeks passed, she slowly started talking to me. She learned that we had more in common than she thought. Months passed, I finally called her out and she was honest with me. She said that she had judged me. To her, I was this "pageant girl or beauty queen" so she immediately didn't like me. To this day, we remain great friends. We don't see each other often, but we stay in touch. Have you ever been guilty of this? I know I have.
I am 35 years old and what I was taught when I was a little girl is still true to this day. Not everyone will like me. Not everyone will like you. No matter how hard you try. No matter what you do. There are people that simply will not like you. Period. Quit trying to please everyone and make everyone around you happy. It's not possible. Learn to be yourself. Be good to others even if they are not good to you. Be a fruit loop in a world full of cheerios.
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