Our thoughts. They are powerful. They can keep us from so many things. They can also lead us to so many things. I know this all sounds so simple but it's so true.
My dad always wanted me to write and to share my story. He wanted me to write about my experience as I prepared for and competed for Miss LA. Just an ordinary girl reaching for her dream. I had one shot. I didn't get the title so why would I want to write a book? I had basically quit. Given up. Why would someone want to read about a little girl who gave up on her dream and later pursued it without achieving it? I understand there was a lot that went on that could have kept me from my dream but I would have been left with the "what if" or "only if" scenarios. Maybe one day I will share a little behind the scenes of the pageant world. The good, the bad and the ugly. But for now, I'm going to focus on my story. My now. My story that isn't near complete.
The last conversation that I had with my dad revolved around writing. He knew he would never write again. It was his passion and he had a way with words that would suck you in as you read anything he wrote. Me...not so much. You may have to be very creative as you read my writings. We talked about my story that evolved after I competed for Miss LA. He told me to write. To share. To encourage and inspire. But in the back of my mind, thoughts crept in again. Why would anyone want to read about my life? Why would anyone care about the highs and lows of an ordinary girl? Better yet, why would I write a book if my story hasn't been completed? I don't have any answers but I know that fear keeps a lot of people from doing a lot of things. Fear keeps people where they are. Complacent. Settled. Never wanting to reach beyond what they can see realistically.
After two years of leading a ministry for single moms, the thoughts crept back in. The ole enemy feeds my mind and I begin to listen. I hear the following: Laurie, you have no experience in parenting. Laurie, your child is too young. Wait until he's older. What if everything you are doing now fails you later? What if you fall flat on your face and make a fool of yourself? Others will laugh. They will point fingers at you and call you names. I could go on and on and on.
Fear. It is crippling. It will send your thoughts to places that weren't meant for you to go. My story is not complete and it may not be a fairytale, yet, but it's mine. I will not wait until the next chapter to share my story and I will not live in fear of the future. I will not keep quiet but do as I promised. I know I cannot change the world. I may not be able to change anyone. But we all can influence those around us. We can encourage. We can uplift. We can make a difference. My brother, Beck, and I were talking the other day about friend day at church. I told him that I only had one person coming with me. His response, "That's all it takes." One person can make a difference. I have witnessed it first hand. I'm sure that many of you reading this can name one person that has been instrumental in who you are today. Someone that believed in you. Someone that took your hand and walked with you when you needed it most. Someone that could relate to you. Understand you.
There is something great inside us all. Don't be afraid. Don't let the fear of the unknown or the fear of the future keep you from greatness. You may not be where you want to be in life. Don't stay there. Don't settle and don't get tangled up in your thoughts that grip you. So what if...what if I fall? What if you fall? Oh but my darling, what if you fly?
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