Sometimes I feel so inadequate. Right now I feel like Carrie Bradshaw from the TV series, Sex and the City. I never even watched that show but remember clips of her writing about her life on a blog. But that isn't how I feel most of the time. Though a new pair of high heel shoes may change her life, something much greater has changed mine.
But back to the fact I feel so inadequate 99.9% of the time. How could little ole me do anything to make a difference? I see so many people doing great things that truly make a difference in the world around them and I get excited. I get my hopes up and think of all these crazy big dreams. Like crazy BIG. I don't see them as impossible but I always question how to make my way to them. Seriously how many of you are dreamers? I have journals and books of goals that I've had since I was a little girl. My dad always told me to shoot for the moon. I even wanted to visit the moon. Heck, I still do. It's fun to dream. Then I remember...I'm a single mom What in the world can a single mom do to truly make a difference in the world around her? We have enough on our plate raising our kid(s) on our own.
I know that may seem silly to a lot of you but there are some things that are a little more difficult in life when you do it on you own. I am not trying to gain sympathy from anyone or have a pity party. I believe God can and will use you exactly where you are at this very moment but there are times I hear myself say, "But I'm a single mom." However, the last time that thought entered my mind, God stopped at the but and said, "But, I am God."
Rewind. I recently started to clean out my house. I am not sure what enticed me to begin cleaning but looking back, God was preparing a way for something that was about to change not only my life, but my son's life as well. It's not easy to see what God is doing when your life is upside down. You may not know the reason certain things are happening around you but God does. There is so much to be said about the chain of events that have taken place over the past week. I can see the hand of God on my life and Kendall's life. I can see God move in ways I have never seen him move. I have heard prayers from my son that I've never heard before. I have cried out to God on behalf of another individual I have never even met.
For so long, it has been me and my son. My life revolves around him. He is my world. For those of you that know me well, know just how much I love my son and how he makes my heart explode. He is my all. He is my #1. He comes first. He is my priority But God...oh, those words make me smile and cry at the same time. But God, is opening my eyes to see beyond what my human eyes can see. He wants me to learn that it's not all about me. It's not all about Kendall. I believe God is taking me down a road that I've never been down before. He wants to inconvenience me. He wants to teach me to look outside of my little world and put someone else above me and my son. He has been preparing my heart for such a time as this. And as crazy as it may seem, I believe he has been preparing my son as well. The "but I'm a single mom" phrase has been defeated. The enemy can no longer use that against me because God is greater than anything I could ever imagine.
Our little family of two has grown. It grew quickly and almost over night. That's how God works. He places people in your path at just the right time, for just the right moment. I am thrilled to introduce to you, Daniela.
The past 24 hours have been an adjustment but I can tell that God is going to totally rock our world over the next several months. Daniela is an exchange student from Mexico and will be a part of our family for the next several months. I explained to her that while she is here, she is "mi familia." I wish I could bottle up my little boy's excitement and share it with you all. Watching everything unfold has truly been amazing. Listening to the prayers of my 8 year old son has blessed me tremendously. Hearing from Daniela's family touched my soul. I know that God has big plans in store for us all. He is going to use us all for such a time as this.
So next time you feel like God can't use you, take a look at my life and see what God has done. He can use you. He will use you. He is God.
Thank you to everyone that had a hand in this process. The behind the scenes will not go unnoticed.
Comments
Post a Comment