I knew last Christmas was going to be the last of many things. It was going to be the last Christmas we celebrated as a family of 3 because our exchange student would be leaving us several months later. Deep within my mama heart, I also knew it would be the last Christmas my little boy was innocent enough to believe in Santa. I soaked it up and we did it big! We visited every Santa in town. We made a list and checked it twice. We made cookies and we sprinkled reindeer food outside for Santa's reindeer to find our house. He had many questions but I just brushed them aside and reminded him just how magical Christmas was. He would look at me with his big brown eyes that still sparkled with the magic of Christmas... but I saw a little doubt... It's as if he really wanted to believe that this big, jolly man was real. It is what he's always known but it just didn't make sense. How could one man do so much in one night? Almost like he was God because it was impossible. That's where we left off last year. Still believing in Santa.
Over the summer, Kendall had two kids reveal to him that Santa wasn't real. I tried to make light of each conversation but I always asked him if he believed that Santa was real. He would always answer yes so I left it at that.
Several days ago, I heard my son in the other room, "Mom, I want to ask you something and I want you to be honest." My heart sank. I had absolutely no idea what was about to come out of his mouth. He asked me if Santa was real. He caught me off guard. I wasn't ready and I certainly wasn't ready to accept that Kendall's last Christmas to believe in Santa had passed. His pure innocence of Christmas and Santa were gone. I simply answered with a question. "Kendall, do you believe he's real?" He was persistent and wanted me to give him a straight answer. I said, "He's not real." Oh... I was not ready for this! No, my baby can't be growing up on me. I wanted to watch his imagination and eyes sparkle as Christmas Day approached. But it's gone... forever gone!
I wasn't sure how he would perceive Jesus after I told him Santa wasn't real but God gave me a clear answer. Last year on Christmas Eve eve... we had to put our sweet cat, Polo, asleep. It was absolutely the worst experience of my life as I watched my little boy experience true heartache for the first time. Someone he loved was gone. Someone that was in his life for years... every single day... was gone! Never to be seen again.
I made a post on social media and not long after... I got a text from a precious friend. Her cat had one kitten and she felt the holy spirt lead her to text me about this kitten. On Christmas Eve, I went to meet her to pick up this special little kitten. I took it home and my exchange student decorated a box and made sure the kitten wasn't able to be heard ALL night. She is a champion!!!!
When we all woke up Christmas morning... my son went to the box that said From Santa. He opened it up and it was a tiny grey kitten. His first response, "How did Santa know I needed a kitten, I never told him?" I replied with something about Santa knowing all.
This is where Jesus comes in... out with Santa and in with Jesus! One day after school, I asked Kendall if he remembered asking me how Santa knew he wanted a kitten. He informed me that he did. I went on to explain to him that God knew his heart and used my friend to answer his unspoken prayer.
I never want my son to doubt if Jesus is real. He can doubt and never believe in Santa again... It makes my mama heart sad but it would break my heart if he ever questioned if Jesus was real.
So, I was honest. I can't wait to see how different Christmas will be this year. New season are upon us.
Comments
Post a Comment