Don't Ignore Me

I will never forget how I felt sitting in a hotel room two hours away from home.  Scared.  Full of fear.  Angry.  Worried.  Helpless.  Why?  Let me explain.

  I do not like to travel and leave my son behind.  Fear always creeps it's ugly little head in to remind me that I am a single mom and my son depends solely on me.  I am all he has so when I travel or leave his presence, fear grips me.  Every single day of my life.  It's something I pray about daily as I drop him off at school because I do not want to live in fear.  It's not healthy nor does it help my sanity.

Several years ago, I had to travel for work.  I was required to stay one night away from my son. I know some of you are probably thinking to yourself, "Really?"  But, to say I struggled...is quite an understatement.  First of all...I didn't want to be on the roads in a busy city.  Okay...it really wasn't that busy but busier than my hometown.  Second...I didn't want to be away from my son overnight.  The thoughts of what could go wrong...what could happen...what if...filled my mind.

So, I went.  I didn't really have a choice, but I went with complete peace.  I had made up my mind that I was going to enjoy this rare opportunity.  Finally, ME time.  Mom time.  I went out to eat with my co-workers then immediately went back to my hotel room.  I grabbed my Bible, but before I started reading it, I wanted to check on my son.  I called my mother.  She did not answer.  No big deal.  I'll read my Bible then call her back.  I read my Bible.  I prayed. I was feeling GOOD.  I had some Holy Ghost vibes up in my hotel room.  Well...the enemy quickly took over after about the tenth call to my mother.  No answer.  I knew she had taken him to church but three hours later, I had no idea where my mother was...no idea where my son was and I was two hours away.  I blew her phone up.   

I messaged my brothers but neither knew where she was.  I called a friend to drive over to her house but they were not fast enough.  I was SCARED.  Something had happened to them and I was two hours away. HELPLESS.  I was in tears.  I made a Facebook post to see if anyone had seen my mother and my son.  No one.  I had never felt like this in my entire life.  My stomach was in knots.  My mind was not in a healthy place and I was literally shaking.  It was AWFUL.  

Then I get the call.  The name "MOM" appeared on my screen.  I should have been relieved but instead...I went off.  I don't know what word I didn't say.  I probably even invented a few.  I'm pretty sure the Holy Ghost left after I opened my mouth. 

One of the worst things you can do to me...ignore me.  The worst you can do...ignore me when you have my child.  Ignoring me is directly tied to very bad times in my life.  So let's ALL try and prevent those memories from popping back into this fragile little mind of mine.  

Last week, my brother had my son.  I had his girls and he had the boys.  We were both in separate vehicles traveling back from a town about 30 minutes away.  I arrive at his house...he's not there.  I call him...he doesn't answer.  WHAT?  He should have beat me home because I left after he did.  I call repeatedly...no answer.  His poor kiddos...they saw another side of their aunt that night.

Eventually, he called to ask where I was.  Bless him... he didn't have a clue.  But it all ended with everyone home safely.   

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I adore my son. He is my world and I want to know he is safe.  What about our Father?  Think about everything He has done for us.  He wants to know where we are.  He wants to know we are safe.  He calls us time after time.  We ignore Him.  But, He continues to call.  

How do you feel when someone ignores you?  When someone ignores you it's as if they are saying...you aren't worth my time...you aren't that important to me...I'll call you when I get a few minutes... or...they may never return your call.  They completely forget about you until... they need YOU.

WOW.  Can you imagine how God feels?  He's been calling.  We continue to ignore Him... until we get devastating news...until we get those divorce papers...until we check our bank account...until we are faced with tragedy... That's when we say...I am here God.  God, can you hear me?  I am here.  Where are you?  I need you?  God, it's me.  

Thank the Lord, He doesn't respond like I did when my mother finally called me.  He is gentle.  He is kind.  He simply says, "I am here."  "I never left you."  "I was waiting for you."  

Perhaps God is telling you today..."Don't ignore me."

Jesus is calling...Will you answer?