Get Over It

Little kids have big dreams.  Some dreams are absolutely absurd and some are actually attainable.  My son wanted to be a bucking bull when he was a little boy because he was obsessed with professional bull riding.  When I was little, I wanted to be Miss America.  One of those is a little far fetched and one of those is actually within reach.  One of those, I'm sure, will never happen and the other didn't happen.

Most little girls dream of becoming a wife and mom.  I never EVER thought about either.  I'm sure I loved to play house with my dolls or Barbie's but that's as far as that went until wanting my family together was all I ever thought about.

I may have done things a little backwards but that didn't mean I wouldn't fight tooth and nail for my family to be together forever.  When I found drugs in my home, my entire world flipped upside down.  Life spiraled out of control very quickly.  I honestly didn't know if I was living a really bad nightmare or if my life really had gotten completely out of control.

I remember everyone talking and telling me what I should and shouldn't do.  Most didn't realize I was grieving a death of someone that didn't die.  I had never grieved like that in my entire life and haven't to this day.  It rocked my world.  My heart physically hurt.  It ached 24/7.  Love doesn't just "disappear" or vanish.  We can't just flush our dreams or expectations down the drain in one day.  I had a family to fight for.  It might not have been a dream of mine when I was little but once my son entered the world... everything changed.  Everything changes when life is no longer about you.  What was important when I was little was no longer important.  It's crazy how life teaches us what truly matters.

Grief.  

We all grieve differently and we all grieve different things.  

My dad lost his father when he was very young and he always told me that it never got easier.  If anything, he said it got harder.  I never forgot those words and when my dad passed away, those words played over and over and over.  I don't grieve my dad's death as much as I grieve his presence.  I grieve the things I no longer have or the things my son no longer has and never will.  I will be sitting in the stands or at practice and tears just begin to fall from my eyes because I know my dad would be right beside me cheering on his little buddy and nothing I can do will bring him back.

I grieve my little boy not having his father around even though he is still alive.  

I grieve my family not being together.

I grieve certain relationships.

I grieve dreams that I gave up on.

I grieve many things.

We all have things that we grieve and it's NOT just the death of a loved one.

Grief comes in many forms and it can flood our emotions at any given moment.  Please don't tell someone to "just get over it."  You have no idea what that person has walked through or is walking through.  You have no idea the hell that someone has gone through or the demons that someone has fought to stay alive.  

There are many battles that are fought silently.  Please be a little more respectable.  An encouraging word can go a lot further than the words, "get over it."