So, Here's the Deal

 

Grab you a cup of coffee and take a journey with me if you will. 

Over the past several years, I grew.  I grew in areas that I never thought would be possible to grow.  

I'm somewhat of a people pleaser.  If I like you, I want you to like me back.  If I don't like you, then it really doesn't bother me.  But it's those I love that I fight for the most.

I finally came to grips with being left out.  Being uninvited.  Even by people that I loved.  People that should never leave you out.  I quit begging people to spend time with us.  I quit questioning why certain people wouldn't show up for my son.  

Last year, when my son's Papaw passed away, my eyes were opened and my heart was ripped out of my chest.  For many reasons.  But it was also at that point in my life where I stopped.

I stopped cheering for those that never cheered for me.

I stopped reaching out to those that never reached out to me or my son.

It didn't matter who you were.  I was not going to beg.  I was content with those in our lives.  Those that showed up unannounced.  Those that cared enough to stop by and ask how we were doing.  Those that acknowledged our hurt.  Those were my people.

While my heart was breaking, it was also healing.  Do you know that it's possible to heal in the exact place you were hurt?  God can and will give you the strength to walk through some dark times.  You don't have to run or try and escape.

I was at a point in life that I didn't really care if I ever spoke to certain people... ever... again.  I wasn't mad.  I wasn't bitter.  I had forgiven them.  But I was DONE.

Not every relationship has to be reconciled.

One evening as I was looking out over the most beautiful sunset in the mountains, this particular person came to mind.  Tears started to fall because I realized... maybe... just maybe I did care.  I did care about them.  Regardless if they cared about me.  Regardless of how they felt about me.   

Time passed.  Relationships started to grow.  

Several weeks ago, I realized that I didn't have to sit down with this person and tell them all of the hurt they caused.  I didn't point fingers.  I didn't hash it out with them.  That would have caused more problems if I'm being honest.  It would have caused arguments over who was right or who was wrong.  I just simply LET IT GO.  Not some of it.  ALL of it.

Were there awkward moments?  Of course.

Not everything in life is going to get the attention you want or maybe even deserve.  

You may feel as if this person OWES you something.

There will be moments in life that you truly have to let it go in order to move forward.

I know that I'm not the only one in life that's been hurt by someone they loved.  

A father.

A mother.

A brother.

A sister.

A friend. 

Pull the band aide off.  It may sting for a bit.  It may hurt.  It may be awkward.  

But the longer that you allow time to pass, the more LIFE you miss out on.

You want to walk in freedom.

Then walk in forgiveness.

You don't have to hash it out in order to heal.

Healing comes from within.